Gutten Morgen Bloggers
sebenarnya ini masalah sepele kalau dilihat
terkadang kita ingin mendapatkan apa yang kita harapkan tetapi semua itu ga bsa jadi kenyataan
itulah namanya sebuah pengandaian atau penyesalan.
Aku berusaha menghindari sedini mungkin akan penyesalan
yang terjadi dalam hidupku
terlahir dari sebuah keluarga yang rumit
lika liku kehidupan yang tidak begitu menyenangkan
karena pelbagai hal yang menimpa
cikal bakal terjadinya pencitraan diri dari setiap org yang berbeda
Apa yang aku alami saat ini adalah hasil perbuatan ku dari masa lalu.
Jadi sekali lagi, melulu masalah keluarga, uang, kesetiaan dan cinta.
semua ini sungguh membuat ku muak,
membuat ku terluka,
membuat ku sepertinya bahwa ya hari ini adalah akhir hidupku
berharap saja pada Tuhan seperti itu
Tapi sungguh, aku tidak serius dalam memohon hal yang satu itu
karena impian yang aku miliki
setiap orang berhak bermimpi, lagipula bermimpi itu kan gratis.
Sepanjang jalan 19tahun ini
terlalu cepat terjadi
apa yang dinamakan kehidupan tanpa batas
tetapi keterbatasan manusia lah yang membuat kehidupan menjadi terbatas
jam 10.24
melulu lagi menangis
aku menekan segala rasa emosi dan amarah ku
yang hanya bisa kuarahkan pada diriku sendiri
berkata bahwa mungkin aku ini hina atau apalah sebutan lainnya
satu hal yang dapat mungkin aku mengerti sekarang hingga nanti adalah
memang begini jalan hidupku, lalui jalan tersebut atau melenyapkan diri selamanya.
di sebelah ku
sebuah pisau yang cukup tajam tergolek yang biasa aku gunakan untuk memotong buah
bisa saja aku gunakan untuk mengakhiri permainan hidup ini
tetapi impian ku
aku masih berpegang padanya
berpegang pada Ketuhanan Yang Maha Esa
lagipula aku ini kan manusia, makhluk yang mendekati sempurna
untuk apa aku melakukan hal bodoh seperti itu !
Jawablah pada dirimu sendiri kawan
waktu sudah berguna untuk hidup mu
apa yang kau lakukan memang benar adalah keinginan mu
atau semata dogma dari orang lain
yang menjadi pegangan mu.
aku sudah merasakan ketidaknyamanan terhadap paradigma keluarga ku
yang terlihat demokratis memang,
tetapi ketika koridor yang ini berbentur dengan ketidakpercayaan
sulit rasanya untuk mewujudkan menjadi harmonis.
ketertarikan ku pada menulis dan menjadi seorang sukarelawan
2 hal itulah yang menjadi iluminasi dalam hidupku
sekarang semua nya jadi membingungkan
segala penjuru arah tempat diriku berpegang pada yang nyata telah pergi
kecuali satu Yang Fana, yang kita semua sembah. Insya Allah :)
to be continue ..
Maret 31, 2010
Maret 24, 2010
Hello GUYS !!!
Jumpaa lagiii =)
Jumpaa aku kembaliii ..
whatever !
Hope Ur day will be blessed by GOD !
its 12:56 PM
n i sit here, on my comp's desk,
i just listen carefully about the story by my friend
ENGIN !!
hey enginn :D
sorry for mention ur name in my blog
and the story began
There was a peasant and a king
someday the king invited the peasant into his palace for some business
and the peasant went to his palace when the peasant came to his palace,
the king said to the peasant
"i have some business to attend to meanwhile u can wander around my palace but there is one condition, u must hold a spoon with two drops of oil in it with Ur mouth, if u want to wander, otherwise u must stay here and wait for me"
he said that and leave and the peasant take to spoon and hold it with his mouth and started to walk around the palace but he was so cautious not to drop the oil drops in the spoon, he couldn't see anything about the palace, and when he came back where he were,
the king was there and he said
"how was my palace? "
and the peasent answered
"i couldn't see anything my king, because i was trying not to drop the drop of oils"
the king was mad at the peasant, because he couldn't appreciate his legendary palace
and he said
"go now and this time try to enjoy my beautiful palace"
he did leave aside and started to tour around the palace
the palace were so beautiful
all the flora in its garden
flowers, trees, grass and all the paintings on the walls
furniture
they were all so beautiful that.
The peasent couldn't let his eyes blink,
but there was one problem he had dropped the oil drops,
he couldn't think of anything to say
to the king
and started to cry
then
the king appeared
and said to peasant
life is enjoying the beauty without dropping the oil drops
~~end of the story~~
in this story
there is two scales
responsibilities and pleasure
but life is not that simple either
I'm so impressed with that story.
imagine how life can be balance between pleasure n responsibility that we have
even we cant irrespective from the boundary system that created as the way it is,
n the lesson that i got from him is
so the consequences is MY liberty is staked !
believe it or not,
He n I just connected with contacts only.
But he's one of my best friends,
which makes one more color in my life!
Lets say that, this is a game of analysis network.
And I know that this is not a coincidence, God isn't playing dice !
the similarity from us is all i know that we want me
and all my beloved friends
and family to live happily :)
Thx Engin for ur timee :)
Jumpaa lagiii =)
Jumpaa aku kembaliii ..
whatever !
Hope Ur day will be blessed by GOD !
its 12:56 PM
n i sit here, on my comp's desk,
i just listen carefully about the story by my friend
ENGIN !!
hey enginn :D
sorry for mention ur name in my blog
and the story began
There was a peasant and a king
someday the king invited the peasant into his palace for some business
and the peasant went to his palace when the peasant came to his palace,
the king said to the peasant
"i have some business to attend to meanwhile u can wander around my palace but there is one condition, u must hold a spoon with two drops of oil in it with Ur mouth, if u want to wander, otherwise u must stay here and wait for me"
he said that and leave and the peasant take to spoon and hold it with his mouth and started to walk around the palace but he was so cautious not to drop the oil drops in the spoon, he couldn't see anything about the palace, and when he came back where he were,
the king was there and he said
"how was my palace? "
and the peasent answered
"i couldn't see anything my king, because i was trying not to drop the drop of oils"
the king was mad at the peasant, because he couldn't appreciate his legendary palace
and he said
"go now and this time try to enjoy my beautiful palace"
he did leave aside and started to tour around the palace
the palace were so beautiful
all the flora in its garden
flowers, trees, grass and all the paintings on the walls
furniture
they were all so beautiful that.
The peasent couldn't let his eyes blink,
but there was one problem he had dropped the oil drops,
he couldn't think of anything to say
to the king
and started to cry
then
the king appeared
and said to peasant
life is enjoying the beauty without dropping the oil drops
~~end of the story~~
in this story
there is two scales
responsibilities and pleasure
but life is not that simple either
I'm so impressed with that story.
imagine how life can be balance between pleasure n responsibility that we have
even we cant irrespective from the boundary system that created as the way it is,
n the lesson that i got from him is
- believing in absolute goods and bad are also make things easier
because my choices in my life is the one limiting myself. If i choose them knowing it, i should also accept the consequences
every win is a loss !!!
so the consequences is MY liberty is staked !
believe it or not,
He n I just connected with contacts only.
But he's one of my best friends,
which makes one more color in my life!
Lets say that, this is a game of analysis network.
And I know that this is not a coincidence, God isn't playing dice !
the similarity from us is all i know that we want me
and all my beloved friends
and family to live happily :)
Thx Engin for ur timee :)
the opposite things
I see all these images to be white and bright
see many creatures that i dont know before
everything going into light
every time I see the vision
I would meet with the parents,
well he was an old man
which always leads me, with the ability n sense for another irrational things
okay i will start it for the first time !
the journey from a person who neglected and even scorned by her environment
---
My body suddenly felt light-headed
i dont really know how to breath normally
THE THING that i know on that time is
There was a guarding me, he's keeping my mind focused with what Ive see
when i move my feet
I knew that it was not a place that I like
even people wont like it
My heart beating
n i feel so hot
it was very very hot, and I did not enter the place
there are 2 guards guarding each corner of the side
the left n the right one.
the colors that I use in my life, was in there
red and black, the most dominant color !
I was scared and felt so miserable around that place, n im sure for this !
I started to cry when I hear from there something that I do not know what it is!
strange sounds !
whatever
my body instantly flew into another dimension
remain with the same person
another me n u !
and we visited a place called heaven
its extremely beautiful
though we have not entered,
but the fragrant smell are perceived from a considerable distance
just like the hot place
it has 2 guardians
but they're look so friendly
even thy didn't talk any word.
What I get from being in two different places.
With all the uniqueness that all people want and do not!
that everyone have to want it, really!
even i cant say anything
Just one word.
subhanallah
It is a miracle, and no one can determine whether we are included in the group left, right, black, white, good or bad.
according to my sides,
the facts are where a case was believed by lot of people
otherwise, it is believed by minorities arent more than of fantasy ...
WTF !
i dont really care about what people said
n doesnt believe in other sense of dimension !
ITS NYMPHORIA baby :-*
see many creatures that i dont know before
everything going into light
every time I see the vision
I would meet with the parents,
well he was an old man
which always leads me, with the ability n sense for another irrational things
okay i will start it for the first time !
the journey from a person who neglected and even scorned by her environment
---
My body suddenly felt light-headed
i dont really know how to breath normally
THE THING that i know on that time is
There was a guarding me, he's keeping my mind focused with what Ive see
when i move my feet
I knew that it was not a place that I like
even people wont like it
My heart beating
n i feel so hot
it was very very hot, and I did not enter the place
there are 2 guards guarding each corner of the side
the left n the right one.
the colors that I use in my life, was in there
red and black, the most dominant color !
I was scared and felt so miserable around that place, n im sure for this !
I started to cry when I hear from there something that I do not know what it is!
strange sounds !
whatever
my body instantly flew into another dimension
remain with the same person
another me n u !
and we visited a place called heaven
its extremely beautiful
though we have not entered,
but the fragrant smell are perceived from a considerable distance
just like the hot place
it has 2 guardians
but they're look so friendly
even thy didn't talk any word.
What I get from being in two different places.
With all the uniqueness that all people want and do not!
that everyone have to want it, really!
even i cant say anything
Just one word.
subhanallah
It is a miracle, and no one can determine whether we are included in the group left, right, black, white, good or bad.
according to my sides,
the facts are where a case was believed by lot of people
otherwise, it is believed by minorities arent more than of fantasy ...
WTF !
i dont really care about what people said
n doesnt believe in other sense of dimension !
ITS NYMPHORIA baby :-*
Maret 23, 2010
gud morning blogger
and all my dearest friends
\yawning/ i still bit sleepy today
even i got rest for 8hours ..
i think its enough :)
ouuchhh i wnna make some cakes for today
u wanna eat it some ?
dont worry, my cooks are delicious
i swear its true :P
my house is extremely riot
with my little niece
sometimes i really miss my fams a lot
IF i'm going back for routines activity
going to college !
lols :))
but if im on my home
i feel so alone
with so many problems that cant be solved
it will finish with time
hopefully !
if I was in an environment that I dreamed
with my parents always smile n put cheese in their mouth
with my lil sist that dont have to think to go far away
with my step brothers n step sisters who try to understand about this
n i pray for GOD this will happen
i dream a lot about this :)
soo
im over 19
n i dont think that im mature
but as long as I'm able to breathe,
I'll try to be best for people I love.
TRUST ME !
its hard
but it will be easy if u have strong intention !
im contradict woman
who always speak about but n also
who always listen about the bad n the gud news
who always see from the many side
the rght n the left one
YEAH ! its life ..
there are so many good person
but not a bit has changed since deviated from the good
black n white !
its just color for our life :)
we just need to add some color for colorful life
even the world is so cruel,
even the desert will forever be a desert,
and the war on the Palestinians would not be completed until the end of Resurrection
just believe me with all of this, that what is happening is not a coincidence.
All had had their way, even it was written long time before we were born.
we are hoping to a better life, but if we dont wanna change to be the best for our beloved.
we will not be to bring in reality :)
Kita kadang ingin merasa di hargai
tetapi kita tidak pernah mencoba untuk menghormati orang lain
dan menghargai diri kita sendiri.
semua yang kita alami, adalah perbuatan atas apa yang kita lakukan
untuk itulah kita hidup
menjadi manusia yang sudah diutus menjaga bumi ini
membuat perdamaian di antara kita
dan menjaga keseimbangan hidup ini.
kamu, aku dan mereka
tercipta untuk ini semua.
apa yang aku bicarakan mungkin terlihat bodoh dan ga masuk akal
tapi jika kamu ingin melanjutkan hidup mu lebih baik
dan cobalah melihat dengan menggunakan mata yang lain :)
with all of my hearts
Just for u n me ! n better future
kiss u :-*
and all my dearest friends
\yawning/ i still bit sleepy today
even i got rest for 8hours ..
i think its enough :)
ouuchhh i wnna make some cakes for today
u wanna eat it some ?
dont worry, my cooks are delicious
i swear its true :P
my house is extremely riot
with my little niece
sometimes i really miss my fams a lot
IF i'm going back for routines activity
going to college !
lols :))
but if im on my home
i feel so alone
with so many problems that cant be solved
it will finish with time
hopefully !
if I was in an environment that I dreamed
with my parents always smile n put cheese in their mouth
with my lil sist that dont have to think to go far away
with my step brothers n step sisters who try to understand about this
n i pray for GOD this will happen
i dream a lot about this :)
soo
im over 19
n i dont think that im mature
but as long as I'm able to breathe,
I'll try to be best for people I love.
TRUST ME !
its hard
but it will be easy if u have strong intention !
im contradict woman
who always speak about but n also
who always listen about the bad n the gud news
who always see from the many side
the rght n the left one
YEAH ! its life ..
there are so many good person
but not a bit has changed since deviated from the good
black n white !
its just color for our life :)
we just need to add some color for colorful life
even the world is so cruel,
even the desert will forever be a desert,
and the war on the Palestinians would not be completed until the end of Resurrection
just believe me with all of this, that what is happening is not a coincidence.
All had had their way, even it was written long time before we were born.
we are hoping to a better life, but if we dont wanna change to be the best for our beloved.
we will not be to bring in reality :)
Kita kadang ingin merasa di hargai
tetapi kita tidak pernah mencoba untuk menghormati orang lain
dan menghargai diri kita sendiri.
semua yang kita alami, adalah perbuatan atas apa yang kita lakukan
untuk itulah kita hidup
menjadi manusia yang sudah diutus menjaga bumi ini
membuat perdamaian di antara kita
dan menjaga keseimbangan hidup ini.
kamu, aku dan mereka
tercipta untuk ini semua.
apa yang aku bicarakan mungkin terlihat bodoh dan ga masuk akal
tapi jika kamu ingin melanjutkan hidup mu lebih baik
dan cobalah melihat dengan menggunakan mata yang lain :)
with all of my hearts
Just for u n me ! n better future
kiss u :-*
sleepy n bit pain
hello blogger
hello all my friends :)
this is it !
yeah like chef farah quinn. selebrity chef ! she always said like that
after she finish her cooks, she will say "THIS IS IT, Hmm YUMMY, or I like this"
i really like her
because she can cooks anythings
actually
everyone can cooks !
u know ratatouille.
yeah that's film, about a rat that can cook food so tasty n deliciously
so after farahquinn finishing her cook she will say like that
i wish i can finish my work too :((
and say "THIS IS IT"
the Final paper for u ! damn lecture
yeah my lecture that turns into supervisor
she's so cool ! n much talk
bla blaaa blaaa ..
u think that she's talk-active n comes care to her student !
of course not !!
she wanna receive the final paper
IF it really is over !
so, whats the use of a SUPERVISOR !!!
okee, beside that case
i really so sleepy
but cant sleep
feels like insomnia everyday !
i have to read about this n that n this and that
so many things that ive to do !
i enjoy it,,
even my EYES cant be asked to compromise
but i really enjoy this happened to me !
okeee dearest,
this is 11.30 pm
looks like ive go to sleeeep !
IF MY DADDY KNOWS i still wake up, he will be mad !
Thx God for today
wish all my friends blessed by YOU GOD !
Love u all :-* xoxo
hello all my friends :)
this is it !
yeah like chef farah quinn. selebrity chef ! she always said like that
after she finish her cooks, she will say "THIS IS IT, Hmm YUMMY, or I like this"
i really like her
because she can cooks anythings
actually
everyone can cooks !
u know ratatouille.
yeah that's film, about a rat that can cook food so tasty n deliciously
so after farahquinn finishing her cook she will say like that
i wish i can finish my work too :((
and say "THIS IS IT"
the Final paper for u ! damn lecture
yeah my lecture that turns into supervisor
she's so cool ! n much talk
bla blaaa blaaa ..
u think that she's talk-active n comes care to her student !
of course not !!
she wanna receive the final paper
IF it really is over !
so, whats the use of a SUPERVISOR !!!
okee, beside that case
i really so sleepy
but cant sleep
feels like insomnia everyday !
i have to read about this n that n this and that
so many things that ive to do !
i enjoy it,,
even my EYES cant be asked to compromise
but i really enjoy this happened to me !
okeee dearest,
this is 11.30 pm
looks like ive go to sleeeep !
IF MY DADDY KNOWS i still wake up, he will be mad !
Thx God for today
wish all my friends blessed by YOU GOD !
Love u all :-* xoxo
lol This is my second blog.
Actually i've another
but seems that it looks like messy=))
okay this is me
i've put it in the middle afternoon
am i look like a kid ? or teen
whatever
i really dont care about my face :))
because im in love with inner beauty !
first of all
i dont wanna be introduce about myself
if u know me as ur friends it better
everyone is having diff opinion about what they see !
i love being myself
i love white
i love Roses
i love earth
i love all u guys !
just like other girls
im so talk active
but u know every girls have two much mouth than boy
n its rather complicated when u used ur mouth to speak little things
and starting to gossip !
so im not like the kinda girls like that
I use the words to speak and writing as a medium
because with it, we can say whatever that we like
freedom of speech ! yeaaaahhhhhhh :))
i really love about local culture
especially on traditional dance n the songs too
i wish that my foreign friends can know more about Indonesia
Indonesia isn't just BALI ! rite ?
now its 8.2 pm in Jakarta
n i still try to be focus on explanatory research
yeah im on third year now ! n must be so hard in this condition
behind the difficulties there's a way
i beleive in God's fate !
Happy Thursday all :)
Actually i've another
but seems that it looks like messy=))
okay this is me
i've put it in the middle afternoon
am i look like a kid ? or teen
whatever
i really dont care about my face :))
because im in love with inner beauty !
first of all
i dont wanna be introduce about myself
if u know me as ur friends it better
everyone is having diff opinion about what they see !
i love being myself
i love white
i love Roses
i love earth
i love all u guys !
just like other girls
im so talk active
but u know every girls have two much mouth than boy
n its rather complicated when u used ur mouth to speak little things
and starting to gossip !
so im not like the kinda girls like that
I use the words to speak and writing as a medium
because with it, we can say whatever that we like
freedom of speech ! yeaaaahhhhhhh :))
i really love about local culture
especially on traditional dance n the songs too
i wish that my foreign friends can know more about Indonesia
Indonesia isn't just BALI ! rite ?
now its 8.2 pm in Jakarta
n i still try to be focus on explanatory research
yeah im on third year now ! n must be so hard in this condition
behind the difficulties there's a way
i beleive in God's fate !
Happy Thursday all :)
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